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Keaton Jones Is The Most Popular Kid In America Now: Suck It, Haters And Bullies.

I’m sure you’ve all heard this story by now. This kid got bullied to pieces, eventually broke down and told his mom about it. Since then, Keaton has gone uber-viral and is basically a celebrity now.

He’s had offers of kindness from Delanie Walker, Samoa Joe, Ed Asner, Ruby Riott (incredible), Monica Lewinsky, Carlos Dunlap, Jen Selter, Chris Pine, Glenn Beck, and I’m sure he will be on Ellen today. Just a who’s who list of celebs. There were many more celebs that reached out to him. Impossible to list everyone so I just included the biggest stars in the world. No disrespect to those I left off. I haven’t seen a kid take off and go this viral since our pal Ahmed built that clock and everyone decided they hated telling time.

That being said, I bet Keaton walks into his school today like King Dingaling. Just stunting on his haters left and right. I bet he gets his first kiss by the end of the week. His school probably has a Sadie Hawkins dance coming up for the first time and he’s gonna go stag. What a dog! He doesn’t wanna be tied down to one little philly. Respect that. Keaton is gonna walk to the middle of the dance floor wearing his Sunday’s Best and as soon as he stops, turns around, and looks at all the girls who are absolutely dying to dance with him, the DJ will drop the riff of all riffs.

Go Keaton Go.