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North Korea Claims Kim Jong Un Just Easily Climbed This 9,000-Ft Mountain Because He Can Control The Weather

USA TodayNorth Korea has made many incredulous claims about the powers of leader Kim Jong Un and his family. Now it’s boasted of the greatest yet: He can control the weather.

After releasing images this weekend of a smiling Kim on top of Mount Paektu, an active volcano on the China and North Korea border, the nation’s state media said the “peerlessly illustrious commander” can control “the nature.”

The evidence for this weather modification?

When Kim “ascended” to the top of the 9,000-foot mountain through thick snow wearing his signature double-breasted winter coat and black leather shoes, a blizzard gave way to “fine weather unprecedented.”

Kim was apparently responsible for this moment of sunshine on what should have been, according to a North Korean government statement, a dreary winter day.

“Mount Paektu presented charming scenery showing magic peaks and dazzling sunshine on its clear and blue waves,” the account of Kim’s journey up the mountain published in North Korea’s official state newspaper Rodong Sinmun said.

Definitely my favorite North Korean claim to date — Kim Jong Un’s fat ass just got out of bed and decided to walk up to the top of this 9,000-ft mountain in a suit and spotless dress shoes and did it with ease because he controls the weather. Incredible. This fat fuck couldn’t climb to the top of a street curb but yeah obviously he climbed this mountain. This huge fucking mountain. Through “thick snow” before he decided to part the skies like Moses and the Red Sea because he controls the weather. Oh and not just any random mountain… actually a volcano where his dad was born, where his dad was forged from molten lava just like the Ring Of Power.

This is why I can’t quite put my finger on North Korea. Are they an actual threat or not? Are they to be taken seriously? Some days they’re trolling to the millionth degree with Tolkien-esque claims about mountains and weather control, other days they’re successfully testing intercontinental ballistic missiles capable of nuking New York City. A real eating onions / spotting dimes situation.