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Mini-Food Chefs Are Taking The Internet By Storm And They Are The Bane Of My Existence

Look at that shit. All that time cooking meals for whom?! Whom?! Who is gonna eat that little ass meal? Making meals solely for the purpose of stunting on your haters is something that I can appreciate but I think this takes it a step too far.

When my wife showed me the underculture of mini foods, I couldn’t believe that it was real. Can you imagine taking literal minutes out of your day to shape, mold, and cook the tiniest ham the world has ever seen? Taking your free time and making an entire mini kitchen with a wood-fired stove that’s flame is provided by a fucking tea candle? A TEA CANDLE!

Some of these videos have millions of views. Millions of people log on their computers and watch folks make the tiniest food in the world and it makes no sense to me. I thought I had seen it all when people used their umbilical cords for art. But nope. Tiny food takes the tiny cake.

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If you weren’t furious about the little chicken and mini pizza, imagine getting served this tiny plate of hotcakes. Jesus didn’t die for this shit to be going on in 2016.

Although I do respect the use of the cast iron. The pancakes are pretty thick so I’d probably refer to them as Dutch Babies but that’s neither here nor there. Are you not familiar with Dutch Babies? Log on to Pinterest one time for me.