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Mental Midget Shohei Ohtani Tells The Yankees He Won't Even Meet With Them Because He Wants To Play In A Small Market

LOSER. Have fun playing in Seattle you mental midget bitch. Won’t even sit down with the Yankees? A team that has come out and said they would fully embrace his crazy idea of both hitting and pitching on a regular basis. How dare you Shohei Ohtani. How fucking dare you. I’ve never been more offended as a Yankees fan than this bitch turning us away. What do you mean you won’t sit down with us? We’re easily one of the top 5 on-the-rise budding teams in all of baseball. You won’t even entertain the idea? All we’ve been doing is adding international pool money to give to you. And you won’t even talk to us? Who do you think you are? Go fuck yourself.

I’ve never gone from loving someone to wanting their head on a stick in a blink of an eye. Shohei Ohtani just became public enemy number one. If I were Brian Cashman, and it’s a good thing I’m not, I would hate-trade for Giancarlo Stanton right now just to end Major League Baseball. Just do it all out of spite. I’m enraged right now. ENRAGED. But ya know what? Now we get to bring CC Sabathia back. The fat man likely returns based off this news. And ya know what? We have our Asian Sensation already in Masahiro Tanaka. You know, the guy who embraces the spotlight and thrives in it. The perfect guy Ohtani could’ve used as a mentor. Gimme Tanaka in October over this poor excuse of a pitcher in a landslide.

Good, I hope you go to Seattle with Robbie Cano so you can rot away your “talents” and win 82 games a year. Have fun with that! I did actually have a hesitancy towards Ohtani last week when that interview came out. This is an excerpt from the article

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Hey asshole! There’s an easy answer for that. Championships. How many championships did you win? That defines your career. Who gives a shit how much the fans applaud you? Makes me think he would cry on the mound if he ever had a bad game. Fuck this guy. Go have fun on the west coast where you’ll never win a single thing. The fans will cheer for you in June when there’s no pressure. Where they have a holiday every time Felix Hernandez pitches at home because it’s the most meaningful games they ever have. I’ll be worried about winning games in October and getting number 28.

P.S. This does mean New York can use the international pool money they’ve saved (for Ohtani) on former Braves top prospect Kevin Maitan. He is one of the guys who was released after Atlanta got punished recently, and he’s a stud and a half.


Clem’s Editor’s Note:
Hubbs cannot be a fun person to be around after a girl dumps him.