Quick PSA - Stay Away From River North Tonight Because The Landan Twins Are Having A Bar Mitzvah Birthday Bash

 This is like the exact opposite of Chili’s

Well then. I have no fucking clue what is going on here but I know you want to stay FAR FAR away from River North tonight.  This is like when there is an oil spill in the ocean and FEMA has to tell all the fisherman to steer clear of a certain area otherwise they’ll blow up. It’s that but instead of oil it’s technicolors and douchey socialites that think they’re better than everyone in the city. But hey, Happy Birthday guys! To many more!

PS

Any stoolies that are going to this I 1) Hope it’s 100% against your will and 2) Need a Viva sign and pictures.