Turf Man Just Burst On The Scene And Stole America's Hearts

If you bet the over .5 on how many times Gus Johnson would say the phrase “Industrial velcro” congrats on cashing in on that ticket. Lucas Oil Stadium truly put on a show, and by put on a show I mean had the weirdest stoppage in time since what, the 49ers-Ravens Super Bowl when the lights went out for 34 minutes? How does the turf just flat out not work? I’ve seen sod refuse to cooperate and stink out loud, but that’s supposed to be turfs whole deal. Reliable, dependable, there when you need it to be. Not the turf at Lucas Oil Stadium for the Big 10 Championship apparently.

Also, how was this just a one man job? This poor bastard had to sit there on hands and knees with the entire world watching him try and fix this industrial velcro snafu all by his lonesome. Finally rake boy came out and pretended to do something, but he was about 17 minutes too late. Turf Man had already handled the brunt of the work and the job was 99% done by that point. Rake guy was just trying to steal his shine. It was a blatant pathetic attempt to get in the spotlight and I wont stand for it. Take a hike, rake dweeb.