Game, set, match: The Motherland. Vodka on a kid’s ride with two smokes who have yet to be sent away by the mail order bride company beats out dude who undoubtedly drank all the moonshine by himself with the worst hula-hooping form in history. Come on pal, it’s all in the hips. Unfortunately, Russia wins this round. Even if the ride was originally part of the Soviet space program before it got designated to a spot in front of a Commie KMart.