Sports are weird, man. If I had seen this news a few years ago, I would have been thrilled that the Knicks had a #gritty guy like Joakim Noah, who despite his injury issues, would be the perfect player for MSG. And I would have had nooooooooo fucking clue who Mindaugas Kuzminskas even is. Fast forward to 2017 and I am here blogging about it with tears in my eyes. On an NFL Sunday no less!.
I don’t know what LeBron James thinks about this Knicks roster move, but I am upset for a plethora reasons. They are:
1. Joakim Noah is a $72 million albatross that had his first season in orange and blue ended three (3) different times due to injuries and suspensions. The Knicks already have a logjam in the front court to the point that last year’s All Rookie Center Willy Hernangomez can’t even get minutes.
2. Kuzi is Lithuanian. Everyone loves Lithuanians that play basketball thanks to Arvydas Sabonis.
3. He was basically brothers with Kristaps Porzingis (Source: The 17-year-old kid that acted as the unofficial tour guide for Hank and I when we went to Latvia).
Perfect picture of Joakim breaking up the BRALIUKAS!
4. The International Knicks AKA The Euro Boyz AKA The Sex Boyz AKA The United Knations represent one less country.
5. Kuzi was our fun guy off the bench that every fanbase loves rooting for. He had a fun nickname to say (Kuz for short, Kuzi if you’re nasty), great floppy hair, and occasionally heated up which always turned Knicks Twitter into a tizzy.
6. Kuzi hitting a three is the reason this glorious gif happened.
7. Kuzi wore number 91, which immediately made you think of Dennis Rodman and Ron Artest on the basketball court, which immediately made you smile.
8. If we ever released these shirts on Black Friday, they would have bankrupted Portnoy.
9. Kuzi’s wife Egle Andreikaite is forever a member of the Knicks family. Once a Knicks wife, always a Knicks wife. I mean look at these two. They are ADORABLE.
10. Mrs. Kuzi is very good at her job of Model.
Actually on second thought, fuck Kuzi.