Dave Portnoy Reporting Live From the Eye of the Storm - Barstool College Football Show Week 5WATCH NOW

Awesome Bar Fight Outside Of Crocodile Lounge In Wicker Park

 

 

Well that was awesome. Lot of things we learned from this little dust up here. Lets go to the tape.

 

 

Rule 1 – If you’re going to pick up a bat/lacrosse stick

 

 

 

You’re going to want to make sure to HOLD on to that lacrosse stick otherwise this will happen.

 

 

 

Rule 2 – Be aware of your body.

 

What does this mean? It means don’t go running out of control at someone who is standing directly in front of a huge window, otherwise this will happen.

 

 

 

 

Brutal insult to injury to get the Lacrosse stick in your face while you’re sitting in a pile of glass.

 

 

Rule 3 – Do not invite your girlfriend to your street fights.

 

 

This is more for the viewers at home because honestly if I had to hear one more shrieking NOOOOOOOO! I was going to kill myself. Hey lady, you can stop yelling no when literally not a single person is listening to you. Save your breath.

 

 

Rule 4 – Try to leave the scene BEFORE the police come in screaming hot.

 

Bold strategy to wait for the police to show up before you start walking away like nothing happened whatsoever. I have a feeling the CPD saw through that move.

“K let’s go, let’s go”


 

 

And there you have, just a few rules you should keep in mind next time you find yourself in an all out street brawl in the middle of Milwaukee Avenue. Maybe write these rules down and put them in your wallet and refer to them next time you find yourself in such a predicament. Just a thought.

 

 

 

PS

If they had fucked with Nick’s Beergarden which is just outside of the camera I would have been fucking furious. Such an underrated bar.