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Aziz Ansari Flew From London To LA To Accept a British Award And Was Hilariously None Too Pleased

First things first, obviously Aziz is kidding. Nobody forced him to fly from London to LA, blah blah blah, we get it, naysayers and people who don’t get Internet jokes. But the jokes themselves are great. I love a good, refreshing award show acceptance speech. No thanking random old white dudes for making it possible, no speaking out about race or religion or President Trump. I’ve never understood why actors do that after winning an award- nobody fucking likes it and everyone says the same nonsense over and over and over again.

I will go as far as to say that type of acceptance speech should be outlawed. That’s right. At the Oscars, you should be allowed to thank 2 people, zero politics, and you have to tell a 1 minute long whimsical, funny story that will actually entertain people. If you break the rules, they give the award to the runner up. Thank the laundry list of producers and executives in a nice, handwritten letter, maybe host a luncheon catered by Panera, something like that. But when you get on that stage to accept “best short animated film about birds” (a real category), ain’t nobody has time for it. Keep that shit moving, or keep that shit funny. Take notes from this Aziz speech. Talk about fucking a girl in London. That’s what the people tune in to see.

PS: It’s a crying shame we haven’t had our own version of the Dundies yet. How we haven’t rented out a Chili’s and had the Dundies with Dave being Michael Scott is a travesty. We need to get on this.