If betting on preseason football makes me a degenerate then you Midas Whale call me the more attractive Charlie Hustle or less Jewish Sam Rothstein. Let’s make some money.
What? Birds are giving 3.5? Gay Uggs has been lighting us up all week in practice and if he stays in for 3 drives that’s 21 points right there. Doesn’t even matter that Ryan Mallet will still come in and shred Billy Davis’ defense a new taint.
PICK: PATRIOTS +3.5
Not even close. With the Eagles’ D and Belicheik letting his buddy Chip score a couple gimmies at the end to make him feel good about his offense, expect a solid 34-24 game.
Season Prop Bets:
Eagles Wins: 7.5
Ehhhhhhhh fuck. Heart screams over but mind demands under. Would probably be feeling the same way if it was 5.5.
PICK: OVER. All heart.
Peyton is listed as 5-1? Come on now. Let’s be mature about the situation. Michael Vick is a steal at 33/1 and by steal I mean the house will steal your money and leave you in a ditch to die. i do however LOVE Calvin Johnson at 25:1, but he is not coming off a big comeback story a la AP. Or a QB. Or white. Would have to rack in 3000 yards to take it down after what he did last year.
SAFE PICK: Aaron Rodgers at 13/2.
PS – Tebow is listed at 250/1. Fuck off Bovada you troll.
Super Bowl Champ:
Eagles at 40/1??? Not a shot in hell, even though those odds seem high. SF is the favorite right now at 6/1, but I’m not all about the favorite or the sexy pick which I guess would be Pats 9/1, Falcons 14/1 or Texans 18/1, which I actually really, really like Houston’s odds. But if you want to make it rain, gotta make the right play. For me I don’t think they’re going to win it all, especially with that souless ginger at the helm, but it’s some damn good odds to win some good scratch.
PICK: BENGALS 33:1 (not a chance in hell)
Honestly don’t think I’ve ever broke even throughout an entire season, but fuck it. It’s football season baby. Here’s to swimmin with bow legged women.