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Luckiest Home Intruder Ever Nearly Fainted After Being Confronted By A Naked 91 Year Old Woman

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WHDH - A Yarmouth couple said their dog helped stop an intruder who had broken into their house.

Patricia Mulkeen, 91, said she knew something was wrong when Pepper, her 12-year-old Wheaton Terrier, woke her up by barking early Tuesday morning. Mulkeen said she grabbed a flashlight to look around, thinking Pepper may have seen a raccoon outside. As Mulkeen walked into the dining room, she found a man standing there.

“I wasn’t frightened, I was just surprised,” Mulkeen said.

Police said the man Mulkeen found in her dining room was 28-year-old Joseph Parent. Mulkeen’s husband, Jack Mulkeen, said Parent was probably surprised to see his wife.

“My wife at 91 years old gets out of bed and she’s stark naked,” Jack Mulkeen said. “And here’s this young guy in his 20’s looking at a naked 91-year-old woman. That’d be enough to make him faint; it’s a shock.”

Mulkeen said Parent said, “Sorry, ma’am” to her and immediately left her house through the basement.

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Damn, some people have all the luck! I just can’t stand it! I play the lottery all the time and never win. I’ve never caught a foul ball at a baseball game. And all 5 of the hottest women in the world died before I got a chance to meet them, which makes this story at hand an even harder pill to swallow. Joseph Parent broke into a house trying to find some shit to steal real quick, and instead he got to stare like a deer in headlights directly at a 91 year old naked woman. How much luckier can one get?! Usually you have to go to dark corners of the Internet to see such things, and he got it in real life like some sort of magic show. Just imagine, one second you’re scrummaging around looking for an Xbox to steal or maybe some art work to pawn, and then the next second some sweet chariots are swinging in your grillface, leaving you stunned, mesmerized, and without bloodflow above your pantaloons. At that point all one can do is apologize and leave because nothing you can steal will top what you already saw for free. All in all, a pretty good night for ol’ Joey.