Advertisement

Volunteering To Get Run Over By A Stampede Of Cattle Doesn't Seem To Be The Brightest Decision

DM – Groups of men in India have voluntarily agreed to be trampled by a herd of cows in a bid to secure future prosperity for themselves and their villages. Video footage captures the hopefuls as they lay down in the street and face a pummeling from a stream of cattle as they pass over their backs. The ritual is to mark Ekadashi, an auspicious day after the Hindu festival of Diwali.

“That’s gotta herd!” Daily Mail coming in FRESH with their headlines over public mutilation and suicide. Zero idea what’s going on here. None. Granted, my entire history of the Hindu festival of Diwali is a little cloudy. And by cloudy I mean my sole knowledge of it comes directly from The Office. But of course volunteering in this ritual is perceived as good luck in India. Because if you walk away from that stampede alive you’ve got a golden horseshoe and a gaggle of Leprechauns stuck up your butt. If pride of the rock Mufasa couldn’t survive a flocking of wildebeests then I’d hate to see these malnourished cats after getting stomped on by literally tons of angry meat.

Then there’s poor souls who get walloped by these beasts without even volunteering for the job. Maybe we need to evolve as a species to the point where wild beasts aren’t allowed to be wandering the streets unhinged. Talk about being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Wrong place: India. Wrong time: Anytime.