President Donald Trump Had Plain White Rice And Two Pieces Of Cherry Pie For Lunch


I am not sure why but I find this to be FUCKING HILARIOUS. When I first read the tweet, I sat up, removed my hands from deep within my trousers, kicked my head back and absolutely filled the sky with laughter.

Picture it, if you dare.

Picture Donald Trump, or anyone important for that matter, at a nice business lunch.

“What’ll you have, sir?”

“The usual.”

13 minutes later, Remy, the famed mouse from the animated classic Ratatouille, brings the President his food. Confused, he says, “A fucking mouse?”

A hush falls over the room, “Actually, sir. I’m a rat. A Parisian rat to be specific.”

“My apologies.”

Mr. Trump looks at his plate of rice and realizes that he is famished. He takes his fork, which everyone but him notices is actually a cocktail spoon and not a fork at all, and digs in. The wonderful flavors of plain white rice wash over him like the melodies of a young Mozart.

The President begins patting the white rice on his palate with his tongue. The smoothness of the starch consumes him. The beauty of the rice fields are rich within his mind. He’s transformed to a new place, a new time, a simpler time. He takes a new bite and the waves of the sea of flavor completely overwhelm. Salt? Pepper. Dare I say,,, butter? When he thinks it cant get any better, he devours a bite of cherry pie. “Sacré bleu,” his soul whispers loud enough for the heavens to hear as if he were screaming.

Remy looks back from his perch behind the table. The President still reeling from his culinary delight gathers himself. He looks Remy directly in his eyes and says, “Remy, c’était le meilleur repas que j’ai jamais eu. Tu m’as beaucoup plu. Délicieux. Je t’aime beaucoup.”

The President knows French? Fantastique! Food really does bring us together.

Remy looks at his sous chef and says, “It was at this moment that Trump truly became President.” C’est fini.