Bears Sign Jared Allen




HUGE day for the Bears. We all knew something was up when Cutler restructured a 3 month old deal yesterday, flash forward to this morning and it’s Jared Allen. So let’s break it down in the Barstool way, address the haters and show you why this deal is a great one.



Hater 1 – Big Cat, Jared Allen is old and he stinks now, way to give and old stinky guy a 4 year deal.

Guess who played 93% of his teams snaps in the past 6 years? Oh wait, you don’t have to guess, because it’s Jared Allen.




Durability matters. He’s younger than Julius Peppers, a guy a lot of people think was a great signing for the Packers. So now Jared Allen is a bad signing for the Bears? K.


Also, please don’t be one of those guys who thinks years matter in NFL Contracts. They’re all for show. Every contract gets cut or restructured before it reaches the end. That’s how this league works. It’s not 4 years, it’s 15.5 million guaranteed. That’s the only number that matters here.



Hater 2 – Hey Big Cat, the Bears still suck bro.


Love this one. A team that won 10 games 2 years ago and was a play away from the playoffs last year “Sucks”. Newsflash, the Bears D doesn’t have to be Top 5 in the league, it just needs to not be the worst thing ever (ie 2013 Chicago Bears). 1-5 in Offense (was 2 last year), 10-20 in Defense. That’s what we’re going for here. A team that can make stops when it needs to and get pressure on the quarterback in 4th and 8 situations when the season is on the line, hypothetically speaking of course.


Houston and Allen do just that. No one says Jared Allen is going to be the best edge rushed in the league but he makes the Bears better, instantly. If you can’t see that you’re living in hater city. Don’t live in hater city, that place sucks.





Hater 3 – Hey Big Cat, the Bears secondary still sucks and you still have terrible safeties.

Ok, true. But that’s what the draft is for. At the start of the free agency the Bears needed EVERYTHING. No that’s not a hyperbole, they needed help at basically every single position. You can’t do that in one draft unless you hit some magical perfect storm like the Seahawks. So what have the Bears done since the start of agency? They’ve re-worked the D-Line, gotten 2 good Defensive Ends, re-signed both cornerbacks and added depth at linebacker. Now, instead of “OH FUCK WE NEED EVERYTHING IN THIS DRAFT” it’s “we need to draft smart, get a safety, a cornerback, and some more depth on the line”. They have flexibility, flexibility is a very good thing.


Sidenote – Don’t be shocked if the Bears draft a Tight End early, totally under the radar but if Bennett goes down we are absolutely fucked there.



Hater 4 – Hey Big Cat, you no longer have the best looking mustache in Chicago.



This one I have no response for.




The bottom line is this, the Bears just got better, and that’s all they’ve done this offseason. They’ve taken an atrocious Defense and made it not so bad. The Draft is still obviously tremendously important but this team is already improved from last years defensive dumpster fire and that’s the bottom line because Jared Allen said so.