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Someone Is Taping Razor Blades To Playground Rides In East Moline Because The World Isn't Messed Up Enough

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(Source) Police in East Moline combed through the city’s 15 parks after a toddler cut his hand on razor blades that had been glued to playground equipment. The 2-year-old boy was injured Monday afternoon while with his father in Millennium Park, police said. The boy suffered a minor cut to his finger and was treated by his father at home.

Police said they found a dozen razor blades glued to playground equipment in the park, but didn’t find any in the other parks. East Moline Police Lt. Brian Foltz said police weren’t sure how long the razor blades were there. There was no word this morning about anyone in custody.

 

 

 

What’s the bigger story here. The fact that someone is actually this fucked up, to tape razor blades to playgrounds and intentionally harm little kids or the fact that Trent just NARROWLY missed out on what would have been a huge Iowa story. For those not familiar with the Midwest in general or the Quad Cities in particular here’s what we’re dealing with.

 

See that little River right there, the one that I drew a red line through, that’s something we like to call the Mississippi River, only the biggest river in the world, nbd but hbd.

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Anyway, North of that puppy is Iowa, South, Illinois. Well guess where Moline aka Razor Blade City lands? That’s right, on the “right” side of the track in good old Illinois. Trent is basically like Gordon Bombay right now, quarter inch and it’s a goal/Story of the year for Barstool-Iowa. Pulitzer blogging award, millions of pageviews, Trent making it to the big time on his razorblade story. But alas, it’s not, and it’s simply a filler blog for us here in Chicago. Sucks to suck I guess. And as for razor blade guy, way to stick to the correct side of the river dude. Solid work.

 

 

 

Hey Trent, don’t be sad, maybe someday they’ll get around to filming that Girls episode, lol.

powned