Gear Up for the Big Game | New Football T-Shirts, Hoodies, Hats, Beanies, Flags and MoreSHOP NOW

Renting A Sex Doll By The Hour Seems Like The Absolute Worst Way To Get Your Rocks Off

ae5970986c5c68596191dd1b11659065

A bizarre sex-doll brothel has opened in Germany.

Bordoll, as it’s named, is located on an aptly scarlet-lit street in Dortmund and is run by a 29-year-old woman called Evelyn Schwarz.

It currently houses 11 silicon dolls and rents them out for €80 (£71) an hour.The 11 dolls are categorised as “real,” “skinny,” “fantasy,” or “anime” and are listed on the site alongside their full specifications – from the colour of the hair to the size of their body parts. Schwarz explained that the brothel is very popular, with the dolls booked around 12 times each day to men of every age from all over the country.

12 times a day?!

No way. Just no way you could convince me to have some sex with a sex doll that had been used 11 times early that day. Buddy, I don’t even buy my underwear at the goodwill anymore. I stopped doing that last year. You think I’m headed back to the dirty privates zone? You are mistaken. Don’t take that to mean that I’m too good for the goodwill. Still plenty of great options there. You need a good polo? 1.99 and 99 cents on a Tuesday with your student id. I still have my student id. Sure, it’s expired but they dont normally check which is pretty dope.

Anyway, I dont offer many unequivocal stances on this here website but mark my words. I WILL NEVER FUCK A PLASTIC DOLL THAT HAS BEEN PREVIOUSLY FUCKED 11 TIMES DURING THE SAME DAY BY OTHER PEOPLE. Ever.

Additionally, how do they keep the dolls from smelling like burnt old butter? Cum stinks. Pee-ew! If I’m rubbing up on some doll with a thicc ole set of hams, I dont wanna smell the honey glaze that Boris from Hamburg left on her breasts 25 minutes ago. I expect the doll to smell only like the signature scent that I selected during the online application process, namely White Diamonds by Elizabeth Taylor. White Diamonds scent, a fresh little nighty, and running Rebecca through the dishwasher before I give her the ride of the last hour. That’s all I ask. High-heat setting because it kills the germs.