Advertisement

We Have A Cow On The Loose In Prospect Park Brooklyn! (Update: It's Over. Buttercup Has Been Captured)

Look, there is a chance that this entire situation turns out to be a flop. The cops wrangle up the cow and we all go back to our boring Tuesdays.

Worst case scenario, nothing happens. Best case scenario, we have another llama situation on our hands.

But when there is a wild animal on the loose in Brooklyn with all the weirdos that borough has inside of it, you have to live blog it and live stream the live stream.

Advertisement

UPDATE 1: We stopped the stream for now as there seems to be a stalemate between the cow and the NYPD. Since this blog was published, we have discovered that the cow is a girl as people on Periscope told me the cows nuts were actually udders. Her name is also Buttercup after the two yellow marks on her back that likely meant “Kill on Wednesday”. She seems to prefer the turf of the soccer field to the dirt of the baseball diamond, which probably makes her a European cow. The Brooklyn crowd has been underwhelming so far to say the least.

As soon as there’s more action on the pitch, the stream will be back up. Until then here is some George Michael to get you through another 2 minutes of your day in the cubes.

UPDATE 2: The crowd seemingly has been shooed away and the NYPD seems to have set up a perimeter to capture the cow.

Advertisement

The cops may have got a tranq dart in Buttercup, not really sure. Some dude showed up with what looked like a fucking shotgun. Buttercup seems to be slowing down while the NYPD went to the bullpen for the Special Ops department, who I’m pretty sure was ready to shove Santa into a bodybag at the end of Elf.

UPDATE 3: My stream’s helicopter left the scene right as everything was going down. But Buttercup finally succumbed to the massive amounts of tranquilizer likely shot into her system and has been loaded up in the paddy wagon. A tough day for #TeamCow.

j

Your final Buttercup update of the day:

Escaped Animal Chase Rating: 4/10. Buttercup had fight and a Tuesday afternoon work audience engaged, but didn’t have the brain or the wheels to escape or make any highlights. Hopefully she tastes better than she runs.

This is Clem signing off.