The Cubs Are Guaranteed To Win Game 4 If These Ladies In The Bleachers Keep Chanting "Bryce Has Lice"

This is a little tip for everyone out there, when you come to Wrigley in October you’re stepping into the THUNDERDOME. You’re facing some of the best talent in baseball, you’re facing a Manager so genius he himself doesn’t even know what stupid move he’s going to do next, and you’re facing a bunch of middle aged women yelling at you from 200 feet away that you have lice. Poor Nationals, they didn’t want this. Bryce has Lice is just a vicious vicious burn. Like death valley at night or the 12th man in Seattle, you take a home field advantage anyway you can. Sorry Bryce “Lice” Harper, it’s not personal, only business.

Hey Bryce since you’re probably reading this and very rattled I just want it on the record that I don’t think you have lice. I think it’s more that your name RHYMES with lice. Just want it to be clear when you sign with the Cubs next offseason. These women are in your head now but once you put on a Cubs uniform I can personally guarantee they will no longer claim you have lice.

Double PS

May want to fly private on your way home after tonight, heard airlines don’t like gross people with lice. No idea how Chaps got to New York yesterday now that I’m thinking about it.