This is a LONG story, but hang in there. I promise you it’s worth it. I’m going to be dipping in and out of it with my commentary.
MMAFighting- Juiz de Fora Fight 18 was expected to feature Carlos Eduardo Rufino vs. Claudinei Kall for the 170-pound belt in the main event, but Rufino missed weight by almost a pound. Kall was upset, but initially agreed to take on the overweight opponent. A day later, moments before the fight, Kall changed his mind and decided to pull out of the bout. And that’s when Luis Felipe Alvim enters the story.
Alright so there’s a mixed martial arts promotion in Brazil called Juiz de Fora Fight. Their scheduled main event for their Welterweight Championship was scrapped because the challenger missed weight and the champion didn’t feel comfortable still putting his title on the line against him. Everything clear so far?
The 22-year-old mixed martial arts fan, a black belt in muay thai under UFC lightweight Felipe Silva and blue belt in jiu-jitsu, was in attendance to watch the event. Alvim cooked some brownies with his girlfriend Fabiana to sell outside the hotel to be able to buy a pair of tickets. When they arrived at the hotel, though, most of the fans had already entered the place, so there was no one around to buy his brownies. Alvim and Fabiana decided to use the money they were saving to pay some bills and purchased the tickets.
Here’s where our hero, the ultimate underdog, makes his grand entrance to this tale. His name is Luis Felipe Alvim and he baked brownies in attempt to sell them outside the arena with the end goal of raising enough money to buy himself a ticket to the event. How adorable!
Unfortunately nobody bought Luis’ brownies, but he said, “Fuck it. I barely have enough money to pay my bills, but I’m gonna dip into that fund for a ticket because I love the barbaric human cockfighting so much.”
They entered the hotel, and Alvim went to the locker room to visit his coach Felipe Silva and some of his friends that were scheduled to compete that night, and that’s when he heard about the main event situation. Alvim volunteered to replace Kall in the main event, but the spot was already taken.
What a nut! Our hero volunteers himself to compete in the main event, likely to impress his coach who was fighting on the same card, and he’s NEVER been in an MMA fight ever. Being a black belt in muay thai is obviously no joke, but MMA is quite literally an entirely different sport. This is an insane proposition. No way the commission would ever allow something like that to happen.
“I told Felipe Silva I’d fight, that I’d put on a show, but a new fight was already booked,” Alvim told MMA Fighting. “Forty minutes before the main event, this guy chickened out and they offered me the fight again.”
Oh wait! They’re in Brazil! Of course they’ll let it happen! What a rush. My boy Luis goes from trying to sell brownies outside the arena for a chance to get in to fighting in the main event in front of 1,500 fans in a heartbeat. It’s a shame this was a crazy idea and now he’s going to get the shit kicked out of him. Probably can’t even afford medical bills.
In front of 1,500 fans at the Gran Victory Hotel in Juiz de Fora, Alvim was taken down by his opponent, and immediately attacked with an armbar, but Rufino defended. Alvim made a transition to a triangle choke and forced Rufino to tap.
“He took me down and landed some heavy shots, and I though ‘oh shit, what the fuck am I doing here?’” Alvim said. “When I locked the triangle I thought to myself, ‘shit, I’ll catch him.’ I asked God ‘please, don’t let this round end,’ and he tapped.“
WHAT?! HE WON?!
LUIS!!! LUIS THE BROWNIE BAKER!!! HE DID IT!!!
I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t dream of this moment myself. I’m sitting there on press row, watching a UFC fight, and something unfortunate happens forcing a 155lb-er out of a fight while I just happen to be on weight. I stand up, the crowd starts chanting “OC-TA-GON! OC-TA-GON! OC-TA-GON!” and Dana White has no choice but to let me fight. He has to please the fans. I get in that cage, the people are roaring behind me, and I land a lucky right hand, knocking my opponent out with my noodle arms in under ten seconds. Not only do I win the first fight I’ve ever been in in my life, but I retire on the spot and ride off into the sunset…undefeated. One shamrock zero.
Then I wake up. It was only a (wet) dream.