LaMelo Ball Is Getting Private Math and English Tutors So He Can "Count His Money and Communicate If It's Not Right"

BIG3 - Week Eight

TMZ - LaVar Ball is bringing in the best private tutors he can find to educate his 16-year-old son LaMelo Ball after pulling him out of high school … TMZ Sports has learned.

We spoke with a rep for the Ball family who tells us LaMelo’s homeschooling program will consist of “private tutors while LaVar trains him (in basketball) for the next two years to get better and stronger.”

We asked if there were any areas of study LaMelo will focus on and got this response:

“Math and English are his stronger subjects so he can count his money and communicate when it’s not right.”

Uhhh yeah listen, I’m gonna be honest here – this isn’t the worst move of all time.  I mean LaVar Ball is LaVar Ball.  Personally I’m sick of seeing his stupid name everywhere every day, but in comparison to his usual antics…this one makes sense.  Our biggest complaint about school is how it doesn’t prepare you for the real world – you spend your time analyzing the text of pre-18th century British Lit, the philosophies of scholars in 160000000000 BCE, the history of the Byzantine Empire.  USELESS.

What about my money?  How do I count that shit?  How do I properly manage my funds and diversify my earnings portfolios and navigate a fickle market in today’s economy?  And the English.  As an English major myself I can relate.  Need to sound smart when you’re making motherfuckers pay you.  “Excuse me good sirs, may I inquire as to whether you may compensate me properly for my undertaking with bolstering the burgeoning ‘Big Baller Brand?'”

Goes over much better than “Pay me, bitch” with those hoity toity rich white people.

Is LaVar Ball ruining his sons one by one by being an overbearing controlling manipulative asshole?  Oh yes, most certainly.  This particular move however – good old fashioned common sense.


Still watch these clips sometimes.  The least impressive 92 point game of all time, and the infamous blocked half court shot.