Dude Sucker Punches Traffic Cop For Giving His Girlfriend A Parking Ticket

NY Post- The man who sucker-punched a traffic agent on Staten Island was angry because the worker had issued his girlfriend a ticket, authorities said Friday.

Police say Cochrane sought out the 50-year-old victim in retaliation after he issued the man’s girlfriend a traffic summons.

Cochrane is shown following the officer as he crosses the street. The crazed man then ends the call, creeps up behind his target and punches him in the neck.

The traffic agent fell to the ground and lost consciousness, officials said. He was rushed to Staten Island University Hospital North, where he was treated for a head injury and bruising to the neck.

Haters will say this is a bad guy. But I call him a romantic. Ladies, I challenge you to find a man who will commit a felony as retribution for your parking violation. It might have been a lot easier for him to just pay the ticket, but this guy is from another time, when men were chivalrous and grandiose in their displays of affection. His girl was just about to start crying over the ticket when Davey “Cochsman” Cochran said, hang on babe. I got this. He then snuck down the street like a fox on the phone before delivering a VICIOUS, blindside left hook that knocked out an officer of the law.

I’ll tell you what: if Cochrane and his girl are still together when he gets out of jail, his proposal will be a must-watch, over-the-top scene of romanticism. Expect fireworks, doves, various birds of prey, iguanas, pterodactyls somehow, and porpoises singing the songs of the ocean. The entire animal kingdom will sing in full voice to announce their love. And the wedding?! Out of a fairytale. He’ll rent a castle, and she’ll walk down the aisle which will be covered with the bodies of KO’d traffic cops as an homage to that moment, 20-25 years prior, when she knew he was the one. No expense spared!

Or, you know, she’ll be like wow. That was wildly unnecessary, violent, and he belongs in jail. Can’t believe I dated that psychopath. And she’ll marry a guy who runs Payless Shoe store. His income is modest but you can’t beat the employee discount. Shoes that would normally cost $17, she gets for $13.99. And that, my friends, is love in the real world.