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No Joke, Ben Simmons May Average 50 Assists A Game

Have mercy is right. Especially on that second individual pass. That turn around unexplainable dime drips pure sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A decent preseason game is not much to write home about…but then again your NBA team probably has won more than 75 games in the last four, count ‘em, FOUR years. So, please, kindly pull a David Wallace and Suck It. Let us enjoy our hope. But for real, this kid’s court vision is evolutionary. Every damn pass seems like a highlight. And it’s not one of those Sidney Dean from White Men Can’t Jump deals where he’d rather pull an unnecessary behind the back dish solely because it looks more fresh. Benny’s normal passes are legitimately highlights to everyone else. Like we’ve said before, if anything he may pass TOO much. Defenders are already giving him 5 ft of separation and he’s still dishing around and driving past them to the hoop with ease. If/when that stroke develops and he’s able to pop a 3 at will, watch out. Simmons will be walking on water in South Philly.

More Pass Porn from Simmons, with music straight out of the Holy Ages:

Other than Biggest Ben, the next #1 overall pick, Sir Fultz, gave himself a “C” grade on his play. Oh, and they lost. But who cares? Plenty of room for improvement before the first of 18 straight titles. Now do me a favor and cue it the fuck up!