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I'm Gonna Go Out On A Limb And Say 28 DUIs Is Too Many DUIs

Star Tribune- A 64-year-old western Minnesota man has been caught for the 28th time driving while intoxicated, according to prosecutors, adding to what likely is a record that state authorities have long attributed to him. Danny Lee Bettcher, of New York Mills, was charged in Otter Tail County District Court last week with felony-level drunken driving and refusing to submit to a preliminary breath test. Bettcher remains jailed in lieu of $100,000 bail ahead of an Oct. 30 court appearance. Assistant County Attorney Jacob Thomason said Tuesday if convicted this time around, the maximum sentence is seven years, with the first two-thirds spent in prison and the balance on supervised release. He would then serve another five years on probation.

28! Not 25 DUIs, not 26 DUIs, not 27 DUIs. 28 DUIs! It would really suck to be addicted to something this illegal. This dude isn’t even an alcoholic (I mean he’s probably an alcoholic). He’s a driving drunkaholic. He can’t get enough. To this guy, steep fines and long stints in jail aren’t enough to deter him from his sweet sweet love of getting behind the wheel after drinking the sauce. This might be controversial but a certain point we gotta go back to the medieval way of punishing people. Like after 12 DUIs we should’ve cut this guy’s legs off. That’s the only way to stop him. Make it impossible for him to drive. Letting a guy get 28 DUIs is proving nothing. It’s really just telling the guy, “Hey go ahead and keep getting those DUIs. No number is too high.” I’m telling you. Cut his legs off. Maybe throw hand in there for good measure. Drastic times call for drastic measure and 28 DUIs is the dictionary definition of drastic times. On the bright side we finally know what Chris Farley would’ve looked like when he was 64 years old.