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Finally, Jaromir Jagr Is Back And Will Sign With The Calgary Flames

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What an absolute circus that was. After promising him a contract before the end of last season, the Panthers decided to not re-sign Jaromir Jagr in free agency. Then in August, a report came out that the Calgary Flames were close to signing Jagr. More than a month went by after that until we got a report that Jags was supposed to play in the Czech Republic this past weekend, which would make it seem like he wasn’t going to make an NHL comeback just yet. Yesterday, Jagr hinted that something was coming with this pussy pic.

And then today, we finally get this.

Here we are. Just 2 days before the NHL season gets going. And Jaromir Jagr finally has a home.

What’s crazy is that Jagr was born the same year that the Flames franchise was founded. The Flames first year in the NHL was 1972, only they were the Atlanta Flames at the time. The team didn’t move to Calgary until 1980. Jagr was 8 years old at the time. Probably had already scored 500 goals in his life and smooched at least 500 women in the process. 37 years later and he’s putting on the Flame sweater for the first time in what will probably end up being his last season in the NHL. Also worth noting this will somehow be the first time he plays for a Canadian team.

Realistically, it’s a perfect fit for Jagr. The Flames are a young team at forward. Gaudreau, Monahan, Tkachuk, Bennett, Lazar. Obviously he’s going to help them as best as he can on the ice. But just having him around for these guys to learn from off the ice is going to be huge. Most likely he’ll probably come in and start on the 3rd line with Versteeg at LW and Bennett at center. Which, again, is perfect for him. Having a young skilled guy like Sam Bennett to work with while still being on the 3rd line is exactly what you need. You can’t give Jagr 1st line minutes but you also can’t stick him out on the ice with a bunch of plugs and expect him to produce. There aren’t many 3rd line centers in the league you’ll find more talented than Sam Bennett.

And then he’ll jump right up to the 1st powerplay unit and that’s when the other 30 teams in the league are going to realize they fucked up by not signing him. Because you throw him out there with Johnny Gaudreau and Sean Monahan with a man-advantage and nobody will be staying in the box for the full 2 minutes. And like I said, just having Jagr around for these guys to learn from is going to be huge. If you don’t think that spending an entire season with Jagr in the locker room is going to help Johnny Gaudreau take that next step, you are an idiot. A fucking idiot.

And if you live in Calgary and have a girlfriend, you’re officially on the hot seat. Jagr is just moments away from stealing your girl at all times.

@BarstoolJordie