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OJ Simpson Has Been Released From Prison

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CNN- O.J. Simpson walked out of prison early Sunday after serving nine years for a Las Vegas armed robbery and kidnapping. The former NFL star left prison shortly after midnight local time, and was picked up by a friend, according to Brooke Keast , a spokeswoman for the Nevada Department of Corrections.

Simpson, 70, was freed in the middle of the night to give him privacy.

The Juice is loose! Sorry, I didn’t want to use that phrase but I’m pretty sure any story about OJ for the next month legally has to. The world loses newsmaker Hugh Hefner and about 72 hours later OJ is once again freed. The circle of blogging life continues. Add in that Khloe Kardashian, who is definitely not OJ’s daughter wink wink, is pregnant and you should be prepared to have more of The Juice in your life once reality TV’s Suge Knight (Kris Jenner) gets her claws into him (unless Portnoy gets to him first).

Letting OJ out of jail in Vegas just after midnight where only casinos and strip clubs are open seems unfair. Maybe the justice system truly is rigged after all. But if OJ can keep his nose clean, he gets to enjoy an NFL Sunday in Vegas, which I heard is a spectacle to behold every week. Nothing but degenerates like Portnoy and Big Cat living an dying with every big third down and booth review in all the games from wall to wall. Even games like Jags-Jets and Bengals-Browns matter.

Orenthal is going to have to do something about those clothes though. All denim everything isn’t going to cut it in 2017 if you want to get into whatever the hottest party is in Vegas. Dude better hit up the Five Four Club get a MVMT watch then find whatever party is sponsored by Oakheart if he wants to look good and have fun. I wonder if Chiefs Tie Guy tries to become OJ’s Stevie Janowski.

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Throwback recap to that underratedly wild parole hearing.

I can’t wait for Dave Chappelle to meet OJ for a 5th time.

P.S. The New York newspapers must be sooooooo pissed the Nevada Department of Corrections didn’t respect the biz and officially let O.J. out until after deadline. O.J.’s release date is like Christmas to companies that still sling paper and ink on the streets. I guess they will probably slap Marilyn Manson on the cover for getting crushed by that stage prop. The fact that Marilyn Manson and OJ Simpson are frontpage newsworthy in 2017 is truly strange shit. Weirdest year ever.

Writer’s Note: Don’t forget that OJ Simpson is a scumbag.