Nerd Kid On Jeopardy! Last Night Owns The Sac Of The Century

I don’t care whether Piggy from Lord Of The Flies sports the perfect mix between fat kid nerd and middle aged lesbian, he’s got some serious brass cojones. Dude’s up by $30K going into Final Jeopardy! and literally puts down his Ring Dings for a second and puts his money where his mouth is. Not sure if it was worth almost putting his Mom and Dad into diabetic shock, but dammit, well done young man. Even though it was a softball question and a half.

I know I throw out challenges a lot, but I bet Blake Lively’s sweet ass that I could take down any Stoolie in a Jeopardy! matchup if there was a way to fairly do it. Usually scoring up there with the squirts on the show anyways. Not the Lord Of Useless Information for nothing. I may not know my mother’s birthday offhand but dammit if I couldn’t give you the question to the answer the likes of ‘This President was once president of Princeton and the only commander in chief to hold a doctorate” instantly. Who is Woodrow Wilson? Boomsauced bitches.