Ben McAdoo Needs To Change His Fucking Haircut
Yes I know this seems like a ridiculous hot take, but it had to be said. Ben McAdoo needs to transition from Wall Street McAdoo back to Benny With The Good Hair and he needs to do it ASA motherfucking P. I’ll admit that Benny’s my guy because he is a Barstool bloggers best friend. He looks funny, does crazy shit in the locker room, and took my team to the playoffs last season. The McAdoo blogs write themselves. But this season has been an abject disaster so far and I have no choice but to blame Benny’s haircut. Yeah I realize that seems silly, but we all have stupid superstitions that we have believed in for years. A spot on the couch, a lucky jersey, only drinking ice cold refreshing Oak and Gingers. Whatever it takes to get that win. You don’t ask to change a dealer at the blackjack table when everyone is winning. I don’t know if it’s juju, mojo, or some other word that it is fun to say. But when things are going good, you don’t make major or even minor changes.
But what did the HC of the NYG do after his successful rookie season? Changed everything about his look. Out was the look of the common man that appeared to cut his own hair and the oversized suit he appeared to only wear to weddings and funerals.
That is the look of a Football Guy. Wayyyy too worried about next week’s game to be concerned about looking good. But now Wall Street Benny is here and it’s a fucking disaster. Now I’ve heard all the comparisons. Gordon Bombay in Mighty Ducks 2. Ricky Vaughn in Major League 2. Every sports movie trope where the relatable, hard working character sold out and went Hollywood, it was comparable to what Benny Mac did with this new haircut. The coach from Iceland in Mighty Ducks 2 is getting brought up a lot too just because Benny’s mane is that fierce. To be fair to Coach McAdoo, I don’t know if he even watched movies back when he was grinding his way from Quality Control grunt to head coach of the Giants. He probably only looks for movie and TV scenes with gruesome deaths to motivate his team. That’s the Benny I fell in love with.
When I first saw the hair cut, I’ll admit I was amazed just because of how ballsy and ridiculous it was to go from negative to positive in the follicle department. I thought maybe Benny could conjure the coaching ghost of Pat Riley and start rattling off titles and threepeats. Instead it was a terrible mistake that Giants fans are reminded of every week. Even KFC, Barstool’s resident expert of shitty teams, knows this haircut was a terrible move.
Now Benny’s hair isn’t going to fix all the problems. Eli still needs to have someone not named Ereck Flowers block at left tackle so he isn’t getting absolutely murdered every other play. I legit thought we lost our Iron Man on this hit from hell before remembering that Eli is unbreakable.
Speaking of Eli, he needs to get rid of that glove once Benny gets rid of that haircut. You don’t transition to being a Glove Guy at the age of 36. You don’t transition to anything new at the age of 36. You are who you are after you get married and have two kids. The only thing that changes is the amount of dad jokes you say on a daily basis and how many times you check the doppler radar. Eli is who he is and we love him for that.
Since we are talking change, the Giants have to think about moving on from Mike Sullivan as offensive coordinator, right? Benny is the head honcho and all, but he isn’t going anywhere right now. This offense has been a disaster for a while now with no signs of getting better. People forget that the offense was actually good two years ago when Benny was OC. Granted the offense had the ball every two minutes because the defense was a sieve. But the offense put points on the board. Now they don’t and are actually bad. Cutting the hair may not fix all of this, but it sure as hell can’t hurt. Regardless, a lot of stuff has to change. Myself and Giants fans around the world can convince themselves that everything will be okay because the 2007 Giants started 0-2, no matter how irrelevant that is to this year’s team. Giants fans will use the 07 team to spinzone any 0-2 start we see for the rest of our lives. But that goes out the window the minute the Giants start 0-3. Benny needs to get the team back on track and cut that fucking hair to save the season. I never wanted to write this blog, but I knew in my heart it was only a matter of time until it was going to have to be written.
And now your Moment of Ben
