Fuck The New Seattle Seahawks Alternate Logo

So this logo made it’s way around Twitter last night and I couldn’t hate it more. Usually if a logo stinks, I can just ignore it as long as it is not the logo for my team. But this is different. That is not an ordinary logo. It is an optical illusion that puts your eyes into the Thunder Dome. The first time I looked at that piece of shit logo, I saw a seahawk (osprey for those that have played Odell Lake, the most underrated 80s computer game ever) looking at me. But the second time I looked at, it, I saw two seahawks going beak to beak and now I can’t unsee it. And not only that, but it made me cross eyed and my brain started hurting. I bet looking at this stupid ass logo is worse for your eyes than looking directly at the eclipse. It’s like those black and white optical illusions that cause chaos for your pupils. Fuck that shit. I’m not becoming a blindo for some team I barely care about. Those fancy Seattleites with their frappes and 12s on their jerseys may be down for this kind of sorcery. But not me.

The only good thing about this dumb ass logo is you can probably spot a bunch of hidden private parts in it like that old Red Dog logo, where if you turned it upside down, it looked like Batman was eating out Catwoman.