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Giancarlo Stanton Is In A Music Video Where He Gets The Absolute Fuck Ridden Out Of Him

I’m all balmed up over here! I always pornshame people who watch shit like XVideos, and that’s what this reminds me of, because passionate lovemaking isn’t why you watch porn. You watch it for gross stuff, not real life stuff. But I’ll tell you what, I’m into this. Really into it. Wouldn’t hate it if every night of my life started like this: little shaking, little tenderizing, down you go. Just beautiful.

Giancarlo Stanton just does it right. 325 million dollars to live in Miami. Single. Fuck big endorsements, I’ll  just appear in music videos for Instagram models turned “singers” and have her grind all over my dick. Throw me 20 bucks, whatever, I don’t care I’m already rich. More celebrities would be wise to do this. Don’t go in the club and make it rain, go in the bedroom and get paid to do the exact same thing. That’s called fiscal responsibility.

PS – Giancarlo Stanton is too handsome for this chick but that’s why I’m assuming he got paid money. She’s certainly not ugly, but she’s not Stanton hot.

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