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Does This Look Like The Face Of A Woman Who Begged To Wrap Herself In Toilet Paper For Her Mug Shot Because She Was Cold?

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AUGUST 26--Meet Melissa Natal. The 35-year-old New Hampshire resident and two acquaintances were arrested early yesterday after allegedly robbing a woman in Franklin, a city 40 miles north of Manchester. Charged with a variety of felony counts, the trio was placed in a holding cell at the Franklin police station, where the temperature was not to Natal’s liking. As seen in the above mug shot, Natal wrapped herself in toilet paper after complaining that the lockup was too chilly. She was draped in TP when cops snapped her booking photo. Natal and her codefendants were arraigned yesterday afternoon in Superior Court, where a judge ordered her held in lieu of $25,000 cash bond. Natal is now locked up in the Merrimack County jail, which describes itself as a “state-of-the-art correctional facility.”

 

Ummmmmmmmm what? I don’t wanna sound too woke on this but something’s up here. Something’s not quite right. That woman wrapping herself in toilet paper is some sort of secret code to other criminals. It’d be one thing if she was drunk or high on meth or whatever. Those are situations where wrapping oneself in TP would be more acceptable cause you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. But no, she was arrested for robbery. I’m telling you, the cavalry is about to show up to that jail and break her out. Or the alternative is that this lady is crazy and needs medical help immediately. You don’t just wrap yourself in toilet paper cause you’re cold. Toilet paper isn’t a blanket. Throw on one of those orange jumpsuits they got in there. Literally anything other than trying (and failing) to wrap yourself like a mummy. You know when you sleep at a buddy’s house and he gives you 45 mini blankets to sleep with? And it takes everything in your power to hit the blanket sweet spot? Well toilet paper is like that except not because there is no sweet spot. You just end up covered in toilet paper.