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Correct Opinion: Nobody Is Having A Better Time Than Philly Sports Fans

Chicago Cubs v Philadelphia Phillies

The Philadelphia Phillies are currently the worst team in baseball. They already have 81 losses on the season and it is August 28. They have the worst record in the MLB and have been out of the race since, I don’t know, the 2nd day of the season maybe if we’re being nice. But here we are. August 28 in a season that’s been essentially over for months. And nobody is having a better time than Phillies fans, and it’s all thanks to a glorious baseball baby named Rhys Hoskins.

Oh, was homering for the 11th time in his first 18 games not enough? Here, take starting a triple play while we’re at it.

Out of all the baseball players in the history of the game whoever lived, Rhys Hoskins is the greatest. It took this kid 18 games to be the best baseball player to ever grace this world. All he has to do is play in 1230 more games and he’ll break Barry Bonds’ record and he’ll do it clean as a whistle because he’s a very good boy and not a bad boy. Somehow Rhys Hoskins has turned the worst team in the league into appointment television and he’s done it in like 2 weeks.

And now Hoskins is just another piece of the puzzle to put together a decade of dominance coming up in the city of Philadelphia. This summer was the turning point taking Philly from being Cleveland East toward the City of Champions. By now everybody outside of the city is already sick of hearing about the Sixers. But you’ve got Embiid, Simmons and Fultz about to flex on the league so damn hard and probably bring in LeBron next year just for safe measure. The Flyers grabbed Nolan Patrick in the draft to add to Ivan Provorov and Travis Konecny and Shayne Gostisbehere and Travis Sanheim and Phil Myers. All they need now is a semi-competent/consistent goalie who won’t shit his pants once things start going well for him. The Eagles have their franchise quarterback with Wentz and Derek Barnett who is going to end his career with approximately 500 million sacks. And now the Phillies have Hoskins and Nola and Mike Trout whenever he ends up coming back home. All 4 teams have legitimate studs who are 24 or younger to build around and when all of them are in their prime together?

randy-marsh-jizz

Oh and that’s not even taking into consideration that the Soul already got a head start on this decade of dominance by winning their 2nd straight Arena Bowl over the weekend.

Plus we always have Rocky. New York was the past. Boston is the current. Philly is the future. Tell me I’m wrong. I dare you. I fucking dare you.

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@BarstoolJordie