Early Reports Are The Taylor Swift Song Dropping Tonight Is R&B/Hip-Hop Sounding

Oh no. Oh no, no, no. Please God. Please no. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

I actually saw this rumor last year and thought it was a joke, this is what I said then

Just when I thought I was totally out on Taylor Swift… she pulls me back in!

I’m sure everyone’s freaking out about this and they’ve got their hand hovering over the cultural appropriation button, but have you listened to Thug Story yet? Not sure what’s offensive about a heater like that. Just a little girl rapping about how she doesn’t own a gun and has never been in a club but she’s still a thug. Just a chick who’s a singer turned rapper and is spitting fire bars all over the place. Is it possible to hate that? I argue it isn’t.

PS – In all seriousness this would be an abomination. I’ve said for a while now that I can’t stand Taylor Swift the person but still fuck with her music, yet I don’t think I can ride along on this one. Going from country to pop was fine, going from pop to “edgy” hip hop would be as horrible as it gets. I think, at least. I can’t imagine this little blonde girl with no rhythm or cool factor at all trying to rap about how she’s heartbroken because her fake relationships with Loki and Calvin Harris broke her heart.

Now that it’s apparently a reality I am VERY nervous. Now, my industry sources are telling me she works with too many good people to put out bad music, but I just don’t know. I don’t see a world where Taylor Swift pulls off an R&B/hip-hop song. I don’t know if I want to live in a world where she does pull it off because that would make her a witch, and I have long been anti-witch.

All day I’ve been listening to old shit to preheat the oven a little bit and I’ve been loving it. Speak Now, Red, Fearless, live albums with her awesome cover of Bette Davis Eyes… it’s all been amazing. Really bringing back my love for Taylor. But now I’m back to being concerned. I don’t want to be the guy who yells “I MISS THE OLD KANYE! TURN OFF PABLO, PLAY COLLEGE DROPOUT!” but you might catch me tonight, walking around aimlessly, talking about the old Taylor.

Her music is all that’s left of our relationship, I don’t want to lose that too.