HOLY FUCK THAT WAS AWESOME. So this all started when Gary Sanchez took Michael Fulmer deep in the first inning because he’s the hottest hitter in baseball history.

Fulmer took exception to this because he’s a little bitch and threw right at Sanchez in his next at bat. It was clearly in retaliation to the bomb in the first, but that’s how baseball works. So what happens in the bottom of the 6th? Tommy Kahnle decides to throw behind Miggy Cabrera. Keep in mind there was no warning given to the benches and the ball didn’t touch Cabrera. The home plate umpire Carlos Torres decided he was going to be an asshole today and ejected Kahnle immediately. Girardi came out to argue and blew a gasket getting himself ejected too. The whole scene was outrageous and completely uncalled for.

As Aroldis Chapman came into warmup and finish the inning, Miguel Cabrera (who wasn’t hit by the pitch) kept talking to Austin Romine and must have said SOMETHING. Romine whipped off his mask in disgust, causing Cabrera to shove him and square up ready to fight. Miggy gets two left hand jabs/slaps in before Romine says FUCK IT and takes the big fella down to the ground. What ensued was a good old fashion baseball brawl, something you haven’t seem from the Yankees in quite some time.

The best was David Robertson doing his best Gendry impression (Game of Thrones reference for those unaware) dude coming in at approximately 100 miles an hour.

By the time he reached home plate he was GASSED. Almost collapsed with how tired he was. Unfortunately he’s just given up three runs in the 7th to give back the lead so maybe he should have stayed in the pen.

Shout out to Clint Frazier for dragging Gary Sanchez away from the fight. That’s big man strength right there folks.

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That didn’t stop Gary from getting a few punches in on Nick Castellanos. Sorry we can’t show clips within the main video right now but I’ve got screenshots for ya. First we have Romine getting a few good shots on Castellanos…

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then we have Gary joining in the fun

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Gary will probably get at least five games for this punch unfortunately. That’s the only way to stop him in August, suspend him.

Things settled down for about half a second before Dellin Betances absolutely uncorked a 98 mph fastball to the dome of James McCann. Walk it off bro.

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Do I think this pitch was intentional? ZERO POINT ZERO PERCENT CHANCE. There’s no fucking way this pitch was intentional. The Yanks need this sweep and the entire bullpen was already exhausted earlier in the game, why the fuck would he throw at McCann with a tie game in the 7th? Get the fuck outta here saying he should get 20 games. GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE KFC. There’s no chance Dellin was throwing at McCann there. None. I do love Dellin Betances giving a little “Sorrey!” after hitting a guy in the dome with a 98 mph fastball.

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The Yankees are going to lose this game because Dellin was thrown out for a ball that simply got away. Fuck this home plate umpire Carlos Torres for having the quickest trigger on throwing guys out. Robertson had to come into the game when he was probably getting ready to pitch the 9th later on. The Tigers loaded the bases for Jose Iglesias who went on the rip a bases clearing double to take a 9-6 lead.

THIS IS ALL BECAUSE GARY SANCHEZ HIT A HOME RUN. Poor little bitch face Michael Fullmer got salty and decided to throw at the hottest hitter in history of August baseball and it ended up fucking us in the ass. Fuck Carlos Torres. Fuck Michael Fullmer. Fuck Nick Castellones. Fuck Detroit. Have fun in the bottom of the AL Central you miserable pieces of shit.

This loss is on home plate umpire Carlos Torres. Fuck that guy