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Lady Who Tried To Smuggle Vodka Into A Horse Track Via Her Salami Sandwich Is A Pioneer

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Fox DC - A sporting fan in the U.K. was recently forced to go without the liquor sandwich she so thoughtfully prepared for a day at the races.

On Sunday, authorities at the Southwell horse track in Nottinghamshire, England, reportedly caught an attendee trying to smuggle a 350-milliliter bottle of vodka into the venue by way of a large sandwich filled with salami and tomato. According to the Telegraph, security guards were tipped off by the weight of the “sandwich,” and asked the woman to open it for inspection.

“This was spotted by security yesterday,” wrote Southwell’s social media team on Twitter, alongside a photo of the Glen’s Vodka bottle nestled inside a submarine roll.

A spokesman for Southwell added to Fox News that security took the sandwich from the woman, but didn’t dispose of it out of respect for her inventiveness.

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People have spoken for years about what we just witnessed. From the genius Albert Einstein, “The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge, but imagination”; to the wise Victor Pinchuk, “Art, freedom and creativity will change society faster than politics”; to the late, great Colonel Sanders “I’m too drunk to taste this chicken”, we have been speaking about this sort of breakthrough for years. And alas, after centuries of design and innovation, someone has attempted to sneak a vodka bottle into a sporting event via a salami sandwich.

We’ve all done it, or at least attempted it. You buy some airplane bottles or the mini bottle, and either put it in your pants or up your sleeve. Usually it gets through security pretty easily, unless it’s one of those places where they do the immense pat-down procedure, but that’s neither here nor there. One time I got kicked out of an OAR show at Merriweather when I was like 17 because I tried to slide a water bottle of vodka under the fence and then retrieve it when I got inside. All they did was let me inside so they could then kick me out. Had to buy a whole new ticket. If I knew about the ol’ bottle in the salami trick, everything would have been different. I probably would have gone more turkey and cheese, but that’s neither here no there. Hiding bottles in a sandwich is genius. I suggest using a Subway sandwich because their bread is so big and fluffy, you could easily hollow it out and security would be none the wiser. So while this lady got caught, she is a pioneer, a young Harriet Tubman if you will. Next time you’re sneaking liquor into a sporting event, go the sandwich technique. And then tweet me a pic.