Was My Wife Being Really Bitchy Because She Didnt Propose To Me At An Ed Sheeran Concert Last Night?


The songbird of our generation came to San Antonio last night and you better believe I was there for it. We had good seats, good vodka, and some good food before showing up. The best thing about concerts like ole Ed Sheeran is that you can sing along to nearly every song. The entire crowd was swaying to the music and enjoying themselves.

As you well know, Ed has many love songs. He’s romantic and so am I. Did you know that about me? Of course you did. I ooze romance. Hell, I’m surprised that I don’t naturally speak French. It’d make sense if I did. French is the top-tier of the romance languages and it’s a travesty that I don’t speak it. Unfortunately, nothing can be done about that. Moving on.

About half way through the concert, ole Ed decides to pull out this love festival of a song.

Everybody was wet. Guys, girls, animals, and whathaveyou. People had their cell phone lights on and were singing their hearts out. Next thing you know, people start hollering wooooo and shit. There was a gentleman in the aisle, on bended knee, and Ed started just playing and stopped singing. After the couple hugged and kissed, Ed said, “feels like ya just got engaged, right? Proper congrats to you. I’ll start the song over so you can dance with your new fiance.” Everyone cheered and clapped for the happy couple.

BULLLSSHHIIITTTT. Why didn’t my wife pick that special moment to propose to me? Am I not worthy of that kind of moment? Was I not handsome enough? Surely, that cant be it. I know. I know.

“Chaps, don’t call me Shirley.”

I get the joke but I’m too upset right now. Don’t get me wrong. It’s a fantastically classic pun and usually, I’d find it hilarious. I’m just not in the mood right now. I’m in the mood to get engaged and that simply didn’t happen last night thanks to my wife. Difficult!