And Here We Have 3+ Minutes Of Every Philadelphia Eagle Staring Directly At The Sun

Somebody making decisions at Eagles camp breathes solely through their mouth. Earlier today Clem wrote about his talented butt boy Odell Beckham Jr. staring at the eclipse with no glasses. I 100% agree with his feelings about how it’s a problem. Now imagine an entire franchise dumb enough to not only allow their million dollar babies look directly at the sun, but glorify it on Twitter. I don’t give a flying rat’s fuck if they gave out glasses and encouraged everyone to wear the shades. Do you know how dumb the average football player is? It wouldn’t shock me if most of these meatsticks attempted to fight the star. Also, WHERE THE FUCK ARE CARSON WENTZ’S SUNGLASSES?!?!?! The sun can melt an average man’s retina’s within minutes. I can’t imagine what those UV Rays are doing to that Ginger’s eyes. Only vampires handle the sunlight worse.

Doug is right, though. Nature is awesome! Especially when it makes your player’s eyes bleed en route to a 57th straight championship-less season. Get them the fuck out of the sun. Period.

PS – I glanced at the eclipsed sun through the clouds for a good .5 seconds and my eyes are still glossy 2 hours later. Not recommended. Hopefully everyone wore their special shades. I mean, imagine thinking you’re tougher than the sun? The fucking sun?

PPS – This just in: