Sucks When You're Trying To Get A Milkshake And End Up Getting Stabbed For Looking Like A Nazi

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NYP - This Colorado man is avowedly not a neo-Nazi.

But he believes his long-on-top, buzzed-on-the-sides haircut got him mistaken for one — and nearly stabbed to death by a confused anti-fascist.

Joshua Witt, 26, escaped his brush with hairdo-doom with a defensive slice to the hand and three stitches. “Apparently, my haircut is considered a neo-Nazi statement,” he told The Post Saturday, as his account on Facebook garnered 20,000 shares.

Witt says he’d just pulled in to the parking lot of the Steak ’n Shake in Sheridan, Colo., and was opening his car door.

“All I hear is, ‘Are you one of them neo-Nazis?’ as this dude is swinging a knife up over my car door at me,” he said.

“I threw my hands up and once the knife kind of hit, I dived back into my car and shut the door and watched him run off west, behind my car.

“I was more in shock because I was just getting a milkshake.”

Witt says he has no tattoos or regalia that would finger him for a fascist. His pals are messaging him on Facebook with the only rationale they can come up with: “They say it’s my haircut.”

He’s thinking of changing his look, he says.

Not great!

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That’s no bueno. No bueno at all. My guy (unless he actually is a Nazi) Joshua Witt just wanted to live the American dream. Just wanted to saunter on in to Steak N Shake and get himself a big ol’ milkshake. Probably would have gone chocolate. And then would have done the move we all do, hemmed and hawed a bit after ordering the and then said “anddddd a medium fries too. Yeah, fries, I’ll have fries”. And then he would return to his car and eat in the parking lot and just be living his best life, dipping his fries into his shake while listening to music, not a care in the world.

But nope.

His Macklemore haircut got his ass stabbed. Couldn’t even make it from the car to the door without having to fight off a knife attack for sorta looking like a neo-nazi. Sucks.

So the question is- what does he do now? Does he back down and get a new haircut and let the stabbers of the world win? Does he relinquish the haircut to the nazis? Or does he stand up for every man, woman, and child with that shaved side of the head, combover on top haircut and say “we will not let the Nazis win”? I vote for the latter. First they’ll come for your bad haircut, and then what? Stay the course. But maybe next time just go to a place with a drive thru.