Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher


PennsylvaniaMelissa Sue Bonkoski thought with a little cleverness, she could avoid detection.

The Owen J. Roberts High School science teacher had become obsessed with one of her former students, and wanted desperately to communicate with him. “Whatever you do, please don’t shut me out,” she said in a text message sent in March. “I’m begging you.”

To keep from being discovered, she bought a ‘burner’ cellphone that would be used solely to pass texts and make phone calls to the 16-year-old.

“I thought I was being smart,” Bonkoski later told a Pennsylvania state trooper.  …

According to the criminal complaint against Bonkoski, 38, of Stowe, the teacher had allowed the student to touch her breasts, and kissed him multiple times in her car. She also spoke with him about oral sex, although they never reached that level of intimacy, and let him sleep over at her house, in her bed. …

[T]he teenager said that he was upset with himself because he had “cheated” on his girlfriend with Bonkoski. He said their initial contact became “extreme” when she began giving him rides home from school in 2016. They kissed more than one time, which left him “in shock” because he “never thought he would kiss a teacher.”

“He was worried that he wouldn’t get rides home anymore if he stopped kissing (Bonkoski,)” the complaint states. He said he slept at her house sometime in 2015, and discussed oral sex. At some point he tried to stop the contact, but he said that Bonkoski would continue to call and send texts. …

One read that she “was kinda hoping you would’ve called me back last night. I really need to talk,” while another referenced a March fundraiser at the school that she had wanted to attend with him.

I have a few teachers in my SST backlog. Several with much better looks than Melissa Sue Bonkoski. All of whom actually closed the deal with their students instead of just talking about it. But not one with her level of sheer determination.

Think about the amount of commitment it takes to go to the T-Mobile store, buy a burner phone, sign up for the data plan, fill out all that paperwork, endure the pressure of the sales pitches about all the accessories, the car charger and the phone case that will withstand a direct hit from a nuke and all that. All for the sole purpose of convincing a 16-year-old to feel your bewbs and let you give him a blowie. It takes a ferocious iron will to resist the rejections of a kid half your age because he doesn’t want to cheat on his girlfriend. Not to mention the complete lack of self-esteem it takes to “obsess” over a kid who’s just using you for a ride. He might have only wanted Melissa to drive him places, but by God, you’ve got to admire her drive.

The Grades:
Looks: The plainest of Plane Janes.
Grade: C

Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: To reiterate, I admire the hell out of Melissa’s hustle. The phone. All the messages. All the make out sessions. Achieving Obsession Level: Bunny Boiler. Asking him to school dance. But where’s the actual smashing of actual genitalia? Nobody talks about blow jibbers. That will cost her at least two full letter grades.
Grade: C-

Intangibles: “Bonkoski.” It might as well have been “Humpowicz” or “Bangoczyk.”
Grade: B

Overall: C+. It’s not enough to try. Blow. Or blow not. There is no try.

Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.