Katy Perry Had To Postpone Her Tour Because Absolutely NOBODY Is Buying Tickets Lollllll

Absolutely hilarious. When I saw the above Tweet this morning, my spidey senses started tingling. I’ve never heard of “unavoidable production delays”. They just don’t exist. I immediately knew there was more to the story. I just knew it. So I searched “Katy Perry Tour” in Twitter search, and what did I find….

Lol. Amazing. But then I started digging deeper. So I headed on over to Ticketmaster to do some investagatory journalism- just how bad are ticket sales? Let’s say…..on a Saturday night in Boston?

There’s no production delays. None at all. Just a stage that looks like a sad, flaccid dick and absolutely no ticket sales. No fans. Her new album was a FLOP of epic proportions. She had to live stream her life to get people to pay attention to her and all it did was let Taylor Swift stunt all over her even more. And now she is trying to play arenas and every single show has THOUSANDS upon thousands upon thousand of tickets still available.

I don’t know what happens next with her, but I’m here for it. Probably will have to get back together with Russell Brand and “accidentally leak” a sex tape.

King stay king.