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Belgium Made A 10,000-Egg "Omelette" That Has Probably Killed Half Their Population By Now

HuffPo- A Belgian town honored its 22-year-old tradition of making a giant omelet on Tuesday amidst an egg contamination scare, cooking 10,000 eggs in a pan four meters wide.

Millions of chicken eggs have been pulled from European supermarket shelves as a result of the scare over the use of the insecticide fipronil, which is forbidden in the food chain and can cause organ damage in humans.

Hundreds of people gathered in the eastern Belgian city of Malmedy undeterred by the scare and the president of the local branch of the giant omelet fraternity, Benedicte Mathy, said she was confident Tuesday’s dish was safe to eat.

Under a timid Belgian sun and with music playing they tucked into the giant omelet cooked over an open fire by “The World Fraternity of Knights of the Giant Omelette”, which was created in 1973.

Boy, who knew the Belgians were a bunch of vikings? Eating prison food out of a pan the size of the boat they rowed in on to pillage all the nearby chicken farms. Just disgusting, honestly. Watching them dump those buckets of brown egg slush into the pan? Nope. Using industrial lawn maintenance tools to mix the eggs up is not how I want my breakfast prepared. Nothing like some light, fluffy eggs tinged with gasoline to kickstart your morning. And then those fake chefs were scraping the eggs with brooms and like, oars from the boat again? This whole operation just seems like a biohazard.

Not to mention they held this egg orgy smack-dab in the middle of a massive egg recall? Turns out those silly Europeans have been pumping their chickens with fiponil, a chemical that casually burns a hole in your heart. Lord almighty!

I will say, this little jig had me laughing. Some Belgian attempt at a Texas square dance except they’re European so they’re way too concerned about their self-image to move with enthusiasm. The result was the most lackluster, awkward, uncoordinated miscarriage of dancing. Not for nothing though, pretty sweet vertical from that chicken.

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PS: this is not an omelette. These are simply scrambled eggs. An omelette contains other shit like cheese and bacon (or avocado, spinach, and egg whites during beach season).

PPS: why didn’t they make waffles? Isn’t that their thing? That’d be like going to Maine for a lobster festival and finding out they’re only serving fondue.