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Giancarlo Stanton Has Homered In SIX STRAIGHT FUCKING GAMES

I’m a routine freak. Always have been. When I moved to New York City to join the Barstool office, I knew that I’d get comfortable once I got into a new daily routine. Every morning I wake up, take a piss, brush my teeth, question my life choices, get dressed, drink my breakfast drink on my walk to work, get to the office, take my laptop out and blog about the home run that Giancarlo Stanton hit the night before. It’s a fun little challenge every day to find new ways to describe how fucking ridiculous he is at the plate.

For the last six straight games, Big Dick Stanton has annihilated a baseball off of some poor soul. Last night, he did it to one of the best pitchers in the National League over the last seven years, Madison Bumgarner. And it’s not just about the six straight home runs, either. It’s the fact that he’s homered 11 times in his last 12 games, and 23 times in his last 34 starts. Since July 5, BDS is SLUGGING .938. The next highest slugging percentage over that span? Charlie Blackmon, .704 AKA Not. Even. Fucking. Close.

By the way, the league average in slugging percentage since July 5 is .463, meaning that Stanton’s slugging percentage over his last 35 games is more than double that. Over his last 12 games, he’s homered in 21.6% of his plate appearances. The league average is 4.0%. Perhaps the most ridiculous stat of all, his SLUGGING PERCENTAGE is 1.152 over his last 12 games. Out of the 181 players who qualify, there are 11 players who have an OPS that is higher than Stanton’s slugging percentage.

The Marlins are up 4-0 on the Giants right now, so we’ll let you know if and when he makes it seven straight.