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Evgeni Malkin Confirms What We've All Known For A While. Alex Ovechkin Is A Russian Spy

Remember this SportsCenter commercial? It’s from way back in yesteryear when it was still funny to joke about Russian spies, unlike today when it’s become too much of a reality. We could all share a laugh about Alexander Ovechkin, captain of the WASHINGTON DC Capitals being portrayed as a Russian spy because how whacky, right??? Wrong. Dead wrong. Because while discussing the potential of Russian NHL players participating in the Olympics, Evgeni Malkin had this to say back in the motherland.

Now to the untrained eye, yes, this just looks like Malkin being a wise guy and maybe even taking a shot at himself saying he’s not as important as Ovi. But this is a high ranking official in Washington DC we’re talking about. One of the biggest leaders in our nation’s capital who seems to have direct access to Putin on a daily basis. Especially considering he has been seen in the crowds of Putin’s town hall meetings earlier this summer.

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I feel like I’m taking crazy pills here. It’s all so very obvious. Do you think the Washington Capitals just happened to get lucky with the #1 overall pick in 2004? Do you think they just accidentally only had 23 wins in the 2003-04 season? Hell no. That shit was all planned by Russia to get their top guy as close to the White House as possible. Do you think the 2004-05 NHL season just happened to get cancelled do to a lockout? Hell no. Russia planned that shit so they could train Ovi for a year before shipping him off to North America. It’s all so obvious but it’s taken until just now for Geno Malkin to blow the lid off of everything.

@BarstoolJordie