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Emergency Press Conference - I Have Decided To Make 70,000 Goodell Clown Towels For Opening Night

Click To Buy Clown Shirt if You want to Match

Originally I said I was going to buy 30,000 towels for opening night at Gillette.  The reaction was so overwhelming and so positive I started thinking maybe that wasn’t enough. Maybe I needed to buy enough to fill the entire stadium.  Then Goodell tried to downplay his appearance by sneaking into  a preseason game and taking pictures with idiot Patriot “fans” acting all happy to see him.  NOT ON MY WATCH ROGER!   NOT ON MY WATCH!   Now you left me no choice but to order 70,000 towels.   Enough to literally give one to every single fan in the stadium except those 3 idiots who should be banned from Gillette for life.   Is this costing me over 100K?   Yes it is.   Do we get anything in return except the pure satisfaction of watching Goodell squirm?  No we don’t.  Am I banking on winning the DraftKings Billion Dollar Contest to pay for all these?  Yes I am.  But even if I lose it will still be worth it just to see that smug assholes face when the entire stadium is bathing in clown turquoise.

As I mentioned before we need help handing these out.  We will not be on Patriot property distributing them.   We have a storage facility which has graciously offered to store the towels for us.  We need volunteers to grab boxes from us and distribute to people you are tailgating with.   Every man helps a man.   It’s Patriot Nation vs. Goodell.  The North Remembers.   We always will.  If you can help the cause send paul@barstoolsports.com an email and he will give you the logistics.  70K towels is a ton to give away so we need as many volunteers as we can get.  Again email paul@barstoolsports.com.    Not me.

Also you can win $1 Billion by drafting the perfect lineup in DraftKings’s FREE Week 1 $100k contest.  It’s FREE to play.   If you pick the highest scoring player at each position you win 1 billion dollars.   There is also 100K in prizes for the tournament.  It’s FREE FREE FREE .  You can’t win if you don’t play.  PLAY NOW!

CLICK TO PLAY DRAFTKINGS BILLION DOLLAR LINEUP