I Have A Genuine David Price Criticism: His "Player's Weekend" Nickname Stinks Out Loud

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I’ve been a pretty vocal David Price supporter during his time here. I think the moment he signed his monster deal he was in a no-win situation, as no human is worth 31 million dollars a year, and people have looked for reasons to bash him ever since that moment. I think Price has been a good, not great, pitcher for the Red Sox and has received too much criticism for being “soft.” Boston loves to pride itself on being a “tough place to play” and both radio hosts and callers alike love to pound their chest when they run a player out of town. They’ll point to things like the fact that he gets briefly gets cold and surprised when cold water is dumped on him to show that he “doesn’t have what it takes to play in Boston!”

That’s all dumb.

You know what isn’t dumb? Thinking that “Astro’s Dad” on the back of your jersey means you don’t have what it takes to play in Boston. That makes all the sense in the world because calling yourself “Astro’s Dad” is very strange. For starters, David Price has a real son, named Xavier, and Astro is his dog. I know my parents love our dogs more than they love me but at least they don’t go emblazoning it on their active wear. That’s not the kind of thing you do if you’re sane of mind.

Second of all, pretending your pets are your kids is the reddest red flag of all time. You ever find out you’re dating a girl who calls herself a “pug mommy” in her Twitter bio or refers to her pet as a son/daughter then you fucking RUN. That’s not normal behavior. I love pets but you have to acknowledge that they are, in fact, pets. Pretending they’re human members of your family is goddamn bonkers.

So maybe I’m switching teams here? Maybe David Price doesn’t have the proper mentality to play in Boston? Like I said, if he was my girlfriend I’d break up with him so maybe I have to stop defending him at every turn like he is. I’m now willing to admit there’s something amiss with David Price, all it took was a nickname jersey available for the low, low price of 200 dollars.

Update: There are rumbling that this is a Felger and Mazz troll? I guess they call him Astro’s Dad or something? If it’s a troll then I take back everything I said and I’m back to being fully Team Price.