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Tiger Woods Pleads NOT GUILTY To DUI Charge (lol)

144th Open Championship - Champion Golfers' Challenge

SourceTiger Woods has pleaded not guilty to a DUI charge, two months after being found asleep at the wheel of his car in Jupiter, Florida.

The golfer skipped court on Wednesday morning, instead entering his plea through his lawyer Douglas Duncan.

It was part of a plea deal with prosecutors which requires Woods, 41, to enter a diversion program in October.

Woods was arrested on May 29 at 2am after being found asleep at the wheel of his parked Mercedes-Benz.

After stepping out of the car, he failed a string of field sobriety tests and could barely speak despite the fact he had no alcohol in his system at the time.

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Look I understand that the world works in mysterious ways. I understand that deals get made to lessen the hassle for all parties involved, to make the world go round a bit easier. That’s fine. I get it. But the sheer fact that Tiger is pleading NOT GUILTY to driving under the influence after the shit we saw simply defies logic.

Not guilty? This guy here’s NOT under the influence? What?

Get outta town. I could understand if Tiger was arrested, we heard it was for DUI, didn’t see any footage, and it turned out he made some plea deal, pled not guilty, and we never heard of it again. But the videos! The footage! The coverage!

That dude is under the damn influence!

I’m a Tiger guy. YUGE Tiger guy. I’m happy he’s striking a deal and essentially “getting off” (lol) on this one. Love that. Less off-the-course embarrassing shit and more on-the-course embarrassing shit. Please. Need it. Need to sell some t-shirts over here. But let’s not pretend that even uttering the words “not guilty” here is not ridiculous.

Pretty sure some rookie cop stumbled upon the Tiger situation, tossed him in the slammer, the department was not happy about it, and now a few months later that’s resulted in this here plea deal. And that poor cop’s probably flying cargo planes full of rubber dogshit out of Hong Kong.

Looking at the bigger picture — Tiger’s obviously back. Working out? Catching giant lobster with his hands? Not guilty?

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Don’t let Eldrick get hot!

PS — Also helps that he blew a .00 and that his story kinda checked out.