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You Gotta Remember To Flush After You Blast A Dookie In The House You Rob, You Gotta

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Fox 5 - A man accused of burglarizing a Southern California home took a bathroom break and left DNA evidence in the toilet that led to his arrest, an investigator said Tuesday.

The suspect “did his business and didn’t flush it” during the October break-in in the city of Thousand Oaks, said Detective Tim Lohman of the Ventura County Sheriff’s Office.

That allowed investigators to collect evidence to conduct a DNA profile. It matched another profile in a national database and detectives tracked down the suspect at his home in the nearby city of Ventura.

Andrew David Jensen was arrested July 28 on suspicion of first-degree residential burglary, a felony. His bail was set at $180,000. Lohman did not know if Jensen, 42, has an attorney.

Efforts to reach Jensen for comment Tuesday were unsuccessful.

Lohman said it’s the first DNA burglary match case he knows of with fecal evidence collected from a toilet.

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Talk about some…shitty luck! Hah, we have fun here. But really, terrible, awful home robbery technique by our dude Andrew Jensen. Laughable how unbuttoned and sloppy he was with this home break-in. It’s not that hard to do- you smash, you grab, you drive away. Bing, bang, boom, in and our, 2 minutes MAXIMUM. No making food, no playing with the dog, and absolutely no time to sit down and blast out a dookie. No time at all!

Stopping half way through a robbery to sit down and unload a shit is arrogance on a whole ‘nother level. Thinking you’re that good at breaking and entering that you have no urgency whatsoever is so cocky, so over the top confident that I respect it. I love his moxie. I’m choosing to believe Andrew Jensen decided taking shits in the homes he robs would be “his thing”. Some people leave nickels in the eyes of the people they kill, some people spray paint the walls, our dude takes boiling hot steamers and leaves them sitting in the toilet for the home owners to find. They walk in their house and find all their windows smashed, jewelry gone, and a pile of digested Chinese food in the commode. A brutal sight to come home to. Pretty funny, all DNA evidence aside. That pesky DNA evidence will get you every time.