Well what in the hell did we all just watch?! Easily one of the weirdest finales in The Bachelor/The Bachelorette history. Never ever ever ever have I seen the internet collectively turn on a Bachelorette like they just did with Rachel. She was the golden child. She could do no wrong. She got rejected by that asshole Nick during The Bachelor and then was selected to be the next Bachelorette. The world loved her. I loved her. You loved her. Your girlfriend loved her. Your mom loved her. For 8 weeks we all kept saying, “None of these guys are good enough for her” and she did the impossible by flushing all of that down the toilet during a 3-hour finale. It was incredible to watch during an otherwise snoozefest of a season. That last hour and a half made it all worth it though. Nothing better than watching America turn on their former sweetheart.
How did we get here? How in the hell did Rachel end up with Bryan? How in the hell did Bryan still wanna be with her after he saw that he was her back up choice? Have some pride, Bryan. I don’t know who is dumber in this scenario but somehow Rachel and Bryan are the most hated couple in the world right now. We’re talking about a world that has Nick V. and Vanessa in it. It seemed impossible to hate a couple more than them but then Rachel and Bryan came along and did it. Rachel’s rationale for awkwardly saying goodbye to Peter was that he wouldn’t propose to her after 8 weeks. Peter said he needed more time and she was like, “Nah” This is classic backwards logic in The Bachelor universe. Peter wants to take his time and be sure he only marries one girl in his life and he gets called the crazy one. Meanwhile, that smooth-talking piece of shit Bryan is ready to propose right now so he wins by default. Not to mention it was the most contrived engagement ever when Bryan proposed. Rachel acted like Tom Cruise on Oprah’s couch. Jumping up and down like a lunatic even though we all knew they didn’t mean it.
Rachel’s biggest mistake was being a dick to Peter during the live studio show. She was sassy as fuck and I guarantee she thought the world was gonna be with her. Instead she came off like a BIG TIME bitch who would prefer to have a shallow engagement than a meaningful relationship that might not have a ring attached to it. Also, how about Rachel throwing water on Peter’s campaign to become Bachelor? That was the most fucked up part of the night for me. While they were talking to Chris Harrison she kept saying, “You’re not built for this process. You need your relationships to take time. You can’t thrive in this system.” Rachel trying to cock block Peter from becoming the next Bachelor was some spiteful shit. That was when me and America were officially out on Rachel. Something that seemed impossible when the night started.
Lastly, there’s no way Rachel and Bryan’s relationship doesn’t end with Bryan fucking a yoga instructor. It just doesn’t. Bryan SUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS. He is a phony charmer who will dip his wick in anything that has a pulse. Fact. I could even see Rachel and Peter getting back together cause there is no way Rachel and Bryan last.