People Who Are Legitimately Upset About A Celebrity Divorce Are The Biggest Losers On Planet Earth

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Maybe it’s just Monday and I’m hungover and sun burnt but these fucking people getting upset over a Celebrity Marriage ending in Divorce are the absolute WORST. Do people really fucking care this much about two people theyve never fucking met? Or how about the fact that they’re both young, attractive, rich people that travel all the time and the idea that they could get divorced makes perfect sense to anyone who has ever been in a relationship that lasted for more than 5 days. Maybe I’m the turd in the punch bowl here but I just can’t believe people actually care this much about a fucking celebrity marriage. This isn’t even a player getting traded from your favorite team or a TV show you like getting cancelled or  your favorite band breaking up. Those relationships at least give you something, they provide you entertainment and happiness. If your favorite radio duo go separate ways that impacts your life, I get that. But a celebrity marriage that no one should give a fuck about? A Celebrity marriage that does absolutely nothing for anyone besides letting people hashtag #CoupleGoals and make them think that every relationship is perfect? Hey newsflash all you dummies, Chris Pratt probably was sick of Anna Farris eating with her mouth open, or Anna was mad that Chris farted all the time, you know, real relationship shit. Get out of this fake life and realize that couples break up, it happens, to be upset over something that has ZERO impact on your life is fucking stupid and I hate you. You’re not upset that love is dead, you’re upset that you have a juvenile brain and think Instagram is real life and if you post enough pictures with Bae on the Couch then you have a perfect life. Grow the fuck up.


I’m not talking about Robbie Fox in this blog, Robbie Fox is 19, he gets a pass because he is just now realizing how the real world works. In 5 years he’ll look back and realize it was dumb, just like all of us realize the thoughts we had when we were 19 were mostly dumb. That’s why I love Robbie Fox, he’s got the youthful enthusiasm that years of the real world beats out of you. He’s like the kid of from Billy Madison, stay young forever Robbie, it’s better that way.