Teenager Takes A Dip In The Ocean To Cool Off At The Beach, Gets His Legs Eaten By "Sea Fleas"

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NewsweekMysterious sea creatures that began eating a teenager’s legs in Australia were identified as “sea fleas” on Monday.

The incident occurred near Melbourne on Saturday, when 16-year-old Sam Kanizay emerged from an evening dip in the ocean with his legs and feet covered in blood, the result of the considerable appetite of the flesh-eating tiny creatures.

Unable to walk, the teenager was brought to a hospital suffering from “pin-sized holes” that were bleeding profusely.

I had an incredibly stressful and inconvenient experience at the beach yesterday.  First there was absolutely no parking.  I’m taking not even the auxiliary lots.  Everything jam packed with vacationers.  Had to search for some public lot that poor people probably park in and Uber over to the ocean.  Then I got stuck carrying too many chairs and coolers because everyone just assumes I’m the strongest and it took a while to find the perfect spot to set up shop so I had a dead arm and sore shoulder.  It was tingling for like 2 hours.  Do you know how hard it is to enjoy tanning with a tingly arm?  Flipping the pages of a book and lifting up a beer can etc.   Wildly unfortunate.  Haven’t even mentioned the cloud that kept intermittently covering up the sun during prime UV ray time.  Really makes you stop and think about the struggles people face in life.

As hard as it is to say I think I found someone who I can possibly admit had a harder time than I did though.  As much as I enjoyed your pity for my plight, Australian teen Sam Kanizay may have had it a bit worse.

He got his fucking legs eaten off by motherfucking sand fleas.


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Look at these fuckers!

At first, experts were left scratching their heads as to what the meat-loving animals these were. “No one knows what the creatures are. They’ve called a number of people, whether it’s toxicity experts or marine experts and other medics around Melbourne at least … (and) yep, no one (knows),” Sam’s father Jarrod Kanizay said, quoted in local media.

Kanizay went back to the beach with a pool net full of meaty bait to attract the creatures, and filmed them. “What is really clear is these little things really love meat,” he quipped as the animals devoted their attentions to the steak.

Thanks to his video, experts were able to confidently identify the creatures as lysianassid amphipods, a type of scavanger shrimp-like crustacean commonly known as “sea fleas.”

But experts considered the episode unusual. “Sea lice normally go after dead or dying animals—they bite humans too but not as severe as this case,” Richard Reina, associate professor at Monash University’s School of Biological Sciences said, the Herald Sun reported. “I suspect the reason why the wounds were so intense was because he was standing still for so long and his legs went numb.”

Big, BIG win for Barstool Trent and his anti-ocean campaign.  Huge victory for Feitelberg and his anti-beach campaign.  The pool looks a lot more appealing when you see an army of sand fleas devouring a steak dinner in a YouTube video and then imagine it being your legs instead.

Thank God summer is almost over.  Hopefully we’ll drink enough to forget all about this story by next Memorial Day.

[h/t Newsweek, Buzzfeed]